Yet

Dear Diary 

This is her being vulnerable the only way she knows how, by putting her thoughts and emotions down on paper. Words which she herself have been struggle to fully express to you correctly or even to herself, so she is taking a bold step and expressing herself to you this way. She knows that there's another soul out there who is struggling too. 

Struggling to read their word each day, struggling to go down on their knees and letting you take control of it all, struggling to love themselves in the same way which you Lord love them.

 Even though each day comes with a battle to face, she is always thankful that you Lord remind her daily that she must just leave it all in your hands because "dear daughter this battle is not yours to face"; that's what she hears you say. 

She is seeing her world change in front of her eyes and feels like she is experiencing it all from an outside point of view, like she is watching a very unknown,scarcy part of a movie and now she has no choice but to sit and watch it through. "This movie has it's good parts too", she tells herself because maybe just maybe will she be able to sit through the most uncomfortable experience of her life.

She is tired of praying surface level prayers to you but she is also very scared to open up completely to herself because she knows that she has soo much hurt and disappointment in her. She has changed due to this brand new scars and she knows that you are constantly reminding her that everything will be okay.

Dear Lord

She asks you not to leave her alone as she's doing life, even through she does not understand the happenings in her life but she know that she has to trust you because you are the author of her life.

Yes, she has more to say to you but this is the start of more chats and more" Hello God, it's your daughter right here" type of chats.

Dear Diary 

Thanks for listening to her.